GREAT!!! I sent the essay to teacher today and i got already answer. He said it was consise and seems it was good because I got the subject DONE!
*********************
Hinge, ihu ja vaimu ühtsuse olemasolu on olnud vist juba aegade alguset peale teemaks, mille üle on arutletud, vaieldud, kakeldud. Samas võrdväärseks üksteise mõistmiseks on eelnevalt vaja paikka panna mõisted, mis on „ihu“ ja mis on „vaim“.
„Ihu“ ei olegi nii raske defineerida. See on keha oma organite ja osadega, mis iseenesest ei suuda eksisteerida. Igaüks meist on kogenud paariks päevaks kappist välja jäänud toore liha roiskuvat lõhna. Eks nõnda ole ka inimkehaga – roiskumine ja lagunemine algab paari tunni jooksul peale elu lakkamist. Juba ainuüksi siinkohal tuleb välja, et ihu iseenesest ei olegi midagi. Et see säilida võik, peab selles olema midagi enamat, mis eluks vajalikud protsessid käimas hoiaks. Nn „Jumala hingeõhk“, mille ta savist Aadama ninna puhus. Ilma selle õhuta, oleks Aadamgi olnud mõne ajapärast jälle põrm. Seega ihu kui selline ei ole iseseisev.
„Vaimu“ aga on raskem defineerida. Osad inimesed peavad „vaimu“ ja „hinge“ sünonüümideks. Siiski on need kaks erinevat asja. Hing on see osa inimese olemuses, mis hoiab funktsioneerimas kõik inimese füsioloogilised protsessid ning lisaks sellel veel mõtted ja teod, mis on seotud esmalt Maslow’i püramiidi alumise kihi – füsioloogiliste vajaduste – rahuldamisega. Ehk siis kõik need teod ja mõtted, mis on seotud vee, toidu, une ja seksuaalsete vajaduste rahuldamisega. Kõik, mida on vaja teha selleks, et rahva keeles „endal hing sees hoida“. Ja alles see järel ka tasapisi teiste püramiidi kihtide – turvalisusevajadusega, armastus- ja kuuluvusvajadusega, tunnustusvajadusega ja eneseteostusvajadusega. Ka köster kärkis „Kevades“ Tootsiga: „Sina pead oma hinge eest hoolt kandma!“ Ja selle vastu ei saa vaielda, sest haige ja katkise hingega inimesed tarvitavad ebaloomulikke võtteid selleks, et saavutada oma füüsiliste vajaduste rahuldamist. Ester Liinak on väitnud ühes oma Eesti Ekspressis ilmunud artiklis, et hing on inimene ise. Elusa inimese kohta öeldakse elav hing, kuid surnu kohta lihtsalt keha – surnukeha.
Ometigi võrtsustab Liinak selles artiklis hinge ka vaimuga. Siiski on vaim midagi enamat, kui hing. Vaim on midagi kõrgemat kui hing. Vaimu võib siduda hingega, pidada seda hinge üheks osaks, kuid siiski on see vägagi palju erinev hingega. Vaim on ühendus inimese ja Jumala vahel. Selle kaudu on inimesel võimalik kontakteeruda Kõigekõrgemaga. Kui hing on see osa inimesest, mis paneb ta tegutsema enese huvides, siis vaim jääb teisele poole – vaim paneb inimese tegutsema endast väljaspoole, teiste hüvanguks. Kui hing on inimese mõistus, tunded ja tahe, siis vaim on tema süda. Väljend „suur süda“ kasutatakse inimese kohta, kes on loobunud millestki teiste kasuks. See on vaimu töö, et inimene suudab endast anda ja mitte ainult võtta. Vaimu ei peeta alati seotuks Jumala ja kristlusega ning seda kasutatakse palju ka inimeste juures, kes on tõepoolest „suure südamega“ võideldes hukkuvate loomade, nälgivate laste või loodusvarade väärkasutuse eest. Neis ei pruugi olla usku Jumalasse, kuid see, mille eest nad võitlevad on Jumala and neile nende enese teadmata.
Kokkuvõtlikult – ihu on keha, mida hing hoiab funktsioneerimas; hing on inimese vajaduste rahuldamine inimese enese jaoks ehk võtmine, vaim aga inimese hingeliste vajaduste rahuldamine enesest väljapoole ehk andmine.
Võib selgesti väita siinkohal, et ihu ja hing on partnerid. Kas ka vaim ja ihu? Kui vaadata füsioloogilisi protsesse, siis pole ju ihul tegelikult rohkemat vaja kui hinge. Kõik funktsioonid on töökorras – mõtlemine, nautimine, tahtmine. Mis see „hing veel ihaldab“? See on tegelikult üks sügavmõtteline küsimus. Tundub ju vahel, et mõne inimese hing muud ei ihaldagi. Pidu ja pillerkaar kuni surmani. Teine aga tajub sõnulseletamatut soovi millegi enama järele saamata aru, et see on igatsus Jumala järele. Seda igatsust püütakse kustutada igasuguste spirituaalsete toimingutega, mis tihtipeale täidavad mingil määral selle osa ning inimene ei kuule enam südametunnistuse häält, mis temas ennem rääkis. Tõenäoliselt vaimu suunamine sellise spirituaalsuse suunas viib enamasti ühel või teisel määral ihu ja hinge mandumise suunas. Enesepettuste varjus on väga kerge leida oma kehale tegevus, mis kaugeltki tervislik pole. Ignoreerides Jumalat.
Kas ihu ja vaim on partnerid? See tähendab siis, et kas ihul on vaimu vaja või vastupidi... Kui võtta asja must-valgelt, siis pole ju ihul vaja rohkemat, kui hinge. Enne kui ihu suudaks kuulda vaimu häält või tunda vaimu pakitsevat igatsust, peaksid olema tema basaalsed vajadused rahuldatud. Seega vaimu olemasolu ei ole ihule üleüldse oluline. Või siiski? Kujutledes ihu kui üht kotti, mille kogu funktsiooniks on lihtsalt olla täidetud ehk siis rahuloluks vajalike elementide täius temas, siis vaim on selles kotis just see asi, mis teda püsti hoiab. Vaim on see, mis kõrgustesse pürib nagu tilluke linnuke koti küljes, mis seda taevasse tahaks tõsta. Kui nüüd nöör koti ja linnu vahel läbi lõigata, kas see muudaks midagi nende jaoks? Kindlasti mitte vaimu jaoks, sest tema oleks lahti oma taagast. Võib-olla ka mitte ihu jaoks. Kummaline igatsus kaoks ja oleks aega rohkem igapäeva nautlemisele. Nii hea oleks elada ilma südametunnistuseta lihtsalt iseendale. Seega ei saa me lugeda neid partneriteks.
Kas nad on vaenlased? Kas just seda, aga segav faktor kummagi jaoks kindlasti. Ebameeldiv ihule, sest miski justkui pakitseks rinnas kogu aeg ja koputaks südamele iga asja puhul piuksudes oma vaikse häälega „Õige otsus!“ või „Mõtle, kas sa ikka peaksid seda tegema?“. Sama raske taak ka vaimule. Kogu aeg on keegi seal, kes takistab sinu vabadust. Kes hoiab sind maapinnal ja ei ole üldsegi valmis alati koos sinuga maailma vabastama tormama. Vahel ta isegi ei kuula sind ja surub su kuhugi oma ego alla varju, sest „mida teised ei tea, seda pole olnudki“. Kaks erinevat asja, kaks erinevat suunda – see ei pruugi tingimata teha neid vaenlasteks. Lihtsalt tüütu sümbioos, millega peab elama. Ja see, kuidas keegi valib selle sümbioosi koostöö, sõltub ainult temast endast.
Showing posts with label School. Show all posts
Showing posts with label School. Show all posts
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
.... we are fighting for the health of smokers!
It is over and when I have time I comment it what we did there. Today I ma to tired for that. But...
I am a counselor!
I am a counselor!
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
We are not fighting against smoking....
Day 1st: What is smoking? And how give up with it?
Ok, I did register last month on dwo-day course of "Indignation of smoking consultants" (In case I did translate it wrong then it should mean I will be once a person who can advise smoker to give up with their habbit what kills... if not them then others around them). Today was first day... My head is full of new knowledges and I watch every smoker in the streets like potential murderers. I have really big desire take their sigarets and stromp on them! But as our lector said, it is normal...
First: Why did I turn in my name into the course?
I have smoked 15 years. I did stopped about 3 years because I just didn't want anymore. Got enough. But maybe it could be because of some disease and my organism couldn't maintain the poisons and nicotine I got from cigaretts. But it is not important at all. I am just working in cancer clinicum and arund me are so many people who owe a penny for death and they still smoke. It is just absurd and I would like to find a way to help them. If not to give up with smokes then at least to explain to them what means smoking at all for them and for others around them. Also once I will become as a midwife and I am not so blue eyed that I could believe all future mothers don't smoke! So... I just want to heal the world! Again...
And next: What had doctor Ülle Ani to say..
The lecture started with statistic. Seems that it is common methot for nonplus auditor. I didn't petrified. She told that 1.1 billion (I doubt in the number actually because there should be already almost 7n billion human beings on the world so 1/3 of it should be about 2,33 billions but what do I know about that...;o)) human beings smoke in whole world. It is 1/3 from whole human race on the Earth. I didn't amaze probably only because I am not able to image so many people together. ... and that they can light their cigaretts what all will smoke and will poison other 2/3 of human race on the Earth.
Why are they doing that then. Well, I got to know how the addiction works. Since I am exsmoker myself I can see it clearer now. I faild so many times with quiting smokes. Actually I am angry I did have the information about 20 years ago. It could give me possiblility to belong into non-smokers and I mean under non-smokers men and women who have never destroyed their health with smokes. I would like to scream "What have I done!?!?!" because I know that all healthproblems I ever will get can be caused because of smoking and doing that during the time when my body was still in progress phase!
So... How does it work?
Nicotine works in your brain. Nicotine is extremely addictive because when you to ingest it then it will increase the natural release and levels of serotonin, dopamin, and norepinephrine in your brain. It acts as a stimulant by increasing adrenaline production what increases blood pressure and heart rate. You feel you are powerful, your brain and memory work with better efficientcy and you don't even understand that it does that during very short timeperiod. So you need more and more to feel better again. Especially hard is when you wish to quite but withrawal symptoms makes you live in hell.
You suck in your first lungfull nicotine and your brain will get basically overdose of it. Your brain maintain it with producing more nicotine receptors. And you give more and more nicotine for your brain because all those receptors shout into your ear they need nicotine and you overdose it again and your brain will produce MORE receptors of nicotine what shout louder "Give me nicotine!" and you are in magic circle what can sound intresting but is not so intresting at all when you are in it. Every time you smoke a cigarett you ingest about 4000 chemicals. There has been proven that 40 of them will cause cancer... Smokes are the cause about one-third of all cancer deaths and about one-fourth of all fatal heart attacks. In fact, many degenerative diseases are directly linked with cigarette smoking - lung cancer, chronic bronchitis, heart disease, respiratory ailments, angina, diarrhea, heartburn, peptic ulcers, etc.
* Since nicotine irritates your food canal it starts product more slim to defend it. You will start coughing and expectorate. Yuki!
* There is possible that men will be soon impotent and/or their sperm has no vitality.
* Your face tone is gray
* Your skin is wrinkled
* You can't sleep well anymore
* Your hair is going gray
* You have heartburns and your stomach hurts because of ulcers. Years already! You didn't notice it before? Oh really? Think back and maby it reminds to you how often have you got medicine from apotecha or you have eat just soda powder at home...
* You are irritated and don't feel well if you won't get smokes and everybody around you are irritated because you are.
* You smell bad. I mean you really do! Your mouth, your clothes, your skin, your intimate parts... Fui!
* You poison everyone around you. Including your children and that before and after born...
Bah! It reminds me ... ee... a frog. Hmm... but it is ok probably because he told he did quit. Or maybe he restart? Does he know the effects of smoking? Naaah.... of course he does. He is EDUCATED! Well... but does he understand it too? Bffff. How is it my problem! Or is it? I still care of him. A lot. How should I act then? To ask him to read it? No! It would look like I want something from him more he is able to give me... Well, I would like it. But if you care about someone wount you worry about them then? And if you do care and won't do anything is it nice? Ok.. but what should I do then???? Maybe if he would read it he would understand that all of his problems are based on his bad habbit? But who am I that I am going to tell it to him! Hmm... just a person who cares! Bah!
If I do care and do nothing what am I then?
And if I do care and do something how does it seem now then?
AAAAAAAAAAA!
And women... If statistic shows that number of smoking men in Estonia decreases then number of smoking women increases. Painful. Especially because the beginners are almost always young girls whos body is still growing and developing. The breastcancer has most common among women who have began smoking during teenage. But not only that! They damage whole theri reproductiv organs as well. There will be more problems with fertilzation among smokers. The babies growth will get damaged aslo their organs may not get ready for birth. It's quit common that the smokers' babies need more often Caesarean section before right time because they just feel so bad inside mom's tummy. Their development will be damaged as well as they will have strong nicotine addiction and withdrawal symptoms will be really hard for them as well. Even when mom is passive smoker all those symptoms may happen. Those babies will begin smoking with bigger probability than non-smokers babies.
It is too painful to think about that. More painful to write. I really hope that the awareness of smoking affects will increase at least in Estonia. I am really happy I was taking part of the course and I'n deeply amazed about the workers who deal with the problem. It will be my fight now as well...
Myths
* There are no smokes what would be less-danger than others!
* Thinking that you need to quite slowly like a cigarette less per day... Absurd! You will irritate everytime your receptors of nicotine and they demand you give more and more. You have to quit to the day!
* I do smoke infront of the oven or on the window so noone will be harmed. Wrong! The CO will be even in your bedroom trough closed doors with 4-5 minutes
* If your friend tells you that pregnant woman should not quit smoking to the day then you should find a new friend for yourself. Everyone should quit to the day. Especially pregnant women.
*
How to stop? Or like said Mark Twain: "Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times."
The first thing what you should do when you have decided to quit smoking is definately seeing a counselor. They will know exactly how to help you and what should you do. Also they can advise you how would it be the best for you. It is not like that "I can stop when I want" because nicotine is the moste addictive drug. You have to know that withdrawal symptoms may include:
Anger
Anxiety
Craving for Nicotine
Difficulty Concentrating
Frustration
Headaches
Increased Appetite
Increased Blood Pressure
Irritability
Reduced Heart Rate
Restlessness
Stomach Cramps
Smoking is disease not bad habbit.
Ok, I did register last month on dwo-day course of "Indignation of smoking consultants" (In case I did translate it wrong then it should mean I will be once a person who can advise smoker to give up with their habbit what kills... if not them then others around them). Today was first day... My head is full of new knowledges and I watch every smoker in the streets like potential murderers. I have really big desire take their sigarets and stromp on them! But as our lector said, it is normal...
First: Why did I turn in my name into the course?
I have smoked 15 years. I did stopped about 3 years because I just didn't want anymore. Got enough. But maybe it could be because of some disease and my organism couldn't maintain the poisons and nicotine I got from cigaretts. But it is not important at all. I am just working in cancer clinicum and arund me are so many people who owe a penny for death and they still smoke. It is just absurd and I would like to find a way to help them. If not to give up with smokes then at least to explain to them what means smoking at all for them and for others around them. Also once I will become as a midwife and I am not so blue eyed that I could believe all future mothers don't smoke! So... I just want to heal the world! Again...
And next: What had doctor Ülle Ani to say..
The lecture started with statistic. Seems that it is common methot for nonplus auditor. I didn't petrified. She told that 1.1 billion (I doubt in the number actually because there should be already almost 7n billion human beings on the world so 1/3 of it should be about 2,33 billions but what do I know about that...;o)) human beings smoke in whole world. It is 1/3 from whole human race on the Earth. I didn't amaze probably only because I am not able to image so many people together. ... and that they can light their cigaretts what all will smoke and will poison other 2/3 of human race on the Earth.
Why are they doing that then. Well, I got to know how the addiction works. Since I am exsmoker myself I can see it clearer now. I faild so many times with quiting smokes. Actually I am angry I did have the information about 20 years ago. It could give me possiblility to belong into non-smokers and I mean under non-smokers men and women who have never destroyed their health with smokes. I would like to scream "What have I done!?!?!" because I know that all healthproblems I ever will get can be caused because of smoking and doing that during the time when my body was still in progress phase!
So... How does it work?
Nicotine works in your brain. Nicotine is extremely addictive because when you to ingest it then it will increase the natural release and levels of serotonin, dopamin, and norepinephrine in your brain. It acts as a stimulant by increasing adrenaline production what increases blood pressure and heart rate. You feel you are powerful, your brain and memory work with better efficientcy and you don't even understand that it does that during very short timeperiod. So you need more and more to feel better again. Especially hard is when you wish to quite but withrawal symptoms makes you live in hell.
You suck in your first lungfull nicotine and your brain will get basically overdose of it. Your brain maintain it with producing more nicotine receptors. And you give more and more nicotine for your brain because all those receptors shout into your ear they need nicotine and you overdose it again and your brain will produce MORE receptors of nicotine what shout louder "Give me nicotine!" and you are in magic circle what can sound intresting but is not so intresting at all when you are in it. Every time you smoke a cigarett you ingest about 4000 chemicals. There has been proven that 40 of them will cause cancer... Smokes are the cause about one-third of all cancer deaths and about one-fourth of all fatal heart attacks. In fact, many degenerative diseases are directly linked with cigarette smoking - lung cancer, chronic bronchitis, heart disease, respiratory ailments, angina, diarrhea, heartburn, peptic ulcers, etc.* Since nicotine irritates your food canal it starts product more slim to defend it. You will start coughing and expectorate. Yuki!
* There is possible that men will be soon impotent and/or their sperm has no vitality.
* Your face tone is gray
* Your skin is wrinkled
* You can't sleep well anymore
* Your hair is going gray
* You have heartburns and your stomach hurts because of ulcers. Years already! You didn't notice it before? Oh really? Think back and maby it reminds to you how often have you got medicine from apotecha or you have eat just soda powder at home...
* You are irritated and don't feel well if you won't get smokes and everybody around you are irritated because you are.
* You smell bad. I mean you really do! Your mouth, your clothes, your skin, your intimate parts... Fui!
* You poison everyone around you. Including your children and that before and after born...
Bah! It reminds me ... ee... a frog. Hmm... but it is ok probably because he told he did quit. Or maybe he restart? Does he know the effects of smoking? Naaah.... of course he does. He is EDUCATED! Well... but does he understand it too? Bffff. How is it my problem! Or is it? I still care of him. A lot. How should I act then? To ask him to read it? No! It would look like I want something from him more he is able to give me... Well, I would like it. But if you care about someone wount you worry about them then? And if you do care and won't do anything is it nice? Ok.. but what should I do then???? Maybe if he would read it he would understand that all of his problems are based on his bad habbit? But who am I that I am going to tell it to him! Hmm... just a person who cares! Bah!
If I do care and do nothing what am I then?
And if I do care and do something how does it seem now then?
AAAAAAAAAAA!
And women... If statistic shows that number of smoking men in Estonia decreases then number of smoking women increases. Painful. Especially because the beginners are almost always young girls whos body is still growing and developing. The breastcancer has most common among women who have began smoking during teenage. But not only that! They damage whole theri reproductiv organs as well. There will be more problems with fertilzation among smokers. The babies growth will get damaged aslo their organs may not get ready for birth. It's quit common that the smokers' babies need more often Caesarean section before right time because they just feel so bad inside mom's tummy. Their development will be damaged as well as they will have strong nicotine addiction and withdrawal symptoms will be really hard for them as well. Even when mom is passive smoker all those symptoms may happen. Those babies will begin smoking with bigger probability than non-smokers babies.
It is too painful to think about that. More painful to write. I really hope that the awareness of smoking affects will increase at least in Estonia. I am really happy I was taking part of the course and I'n deeply amazed about the workers who deal with the problem. It will be my fight now as well...
Myths
* There are no smokes what would be less-danger than others!
* Thinking that you need to quite slowly like a cigarette less per day... Absurd! You will irritate everytime your receptors of nicotine and they demand you give more and more. You have to quit to the day!
* I do smoke infront of the oven or on the window so noone will be harmed. Wrong! The CO will be even in your bedroom trough closed doors with 4-5 minutes
* If your friend tells you that pregnant woman should not quit smoking to the day then you should find a new friend for yourself. Everyone should quit to the day. Especially pregnant women.
*
How to stop? Or like said Mark Twain: "Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times."
The first thing what you should do when you have decided to quit smoking is definately seeing a counselor. They will know exactly how to help you and what should you do. Also they can advise you how would it be the best for you. It is not like that "I can stop when I want" because nicotine is the moste addictive drug. You have to know that withdrawal symptoms may include:
Anger
Anxiety
Craving for Nicotine
Difficulty Concentrating
Frustration
Headaches
Increased Appetite
Increased Blood Pressure
Irritability
Reduced Heart Rate
Restlessness
Stomach Cramps
Smoking is disease not bad habbit.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
God is amazing.
I had preliminary exam of healthy child yesterday. I was not able to study for that. I had day off on Sunday just for studing but I was not able to do that. On monday morning I took with my lecture material of healthy cild and also psychology and went at school. I did open psychology materjal before exam to check the theoreticians of psychology like Kohlberg, Piaget and Erikson. We had to know their psychology of development. So I was just hoping that I have been in every lecture so I should know everything she may ask about developent of children and how to care about them.
When I saw the paper with text what teacher gave to me I was in panic. "Does head of premature child grows quicker than head of child who born timely?" Or the question about "does "valgeolluse säsitupestumine" happens befor child gets 5?" What means "valgeolluse säsitupestumine"??? And so on...
I just had no choice than ask the Heavenly Father to help me and started circle "true" or "false". Last question was about Piaget' cognitive development. Great! I mean it! It was really great! She had made table where were all phases already in. I had to wrote only the age of childrens and what those ages meant. The boxes were really small ones. I knew the ages of children and I pressed there some of what I thought they could do in those ages as well and gave the paper away. With hope I will get just a bit more than D. Jee, I wanted so much to get C!!! 18 questions and I knew almoste well only last one. And I played bingo with first 17 question. I really did...
Today sent teacher e-mail that the marks are up on moodle (study program in internet). I logged on to check my mark. My heart was pumping like Bugs Bunny heart in TV.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! I got A! Do you understand it?!! I GOT A!!! The God is GREAT!! He really is! And you know what, it was only A for whole class. Alissa got B and all others got mostly C-s, a bit less D-s and there was also 3 E-s. It is just amazing how God is blessing me at school. Every day I can feel it more and more. When I start study some subject, He just leads me how shold I do that and He keeps me calm and adecvate during examinations and tests. Everyday I do feel how much He loves me and more and more clearer gets me that what He is waiting from me. But I am just human. I would like the things go the way I want because "my eyes are kings"! It doesn't matter at all that what I see is just tiny bit from tiny what God sees up there. But my heart is sore and hurts as hell. And I feel quilty in front of God that because of my heart.
When I saw the paper with text what teacher gave to me I was in panic. "Does head of premature child grows quicker than head of child who born timely?" Or the question about "does "valgeolluse säsitupestumine" happens befor child gets 5?" What means "valgeolluse säsitupestumine"??? And so on...
I just had no choice than ask the Heavenly Father to help me and started circle "true" or "false". Last question was about Piaget' cognitive development. Great! I mean it! It was really great! She had made table where were all phases already in. I had to wrote only the age of childrens and what those ages meant. The boxes were really small ones. I knew the ages of children and I pressed there some of what I thought they could do in those ages as well and gave the paper away. With hope I will get just a bit more than D. Jee, I wanted so much to get C!!! 18 questions and I knew almoste well only last one. And I played bingo with first 17 question. I really did...
Today sent teacher e-mail that the marks are up on moodle (study program in internet). I logged on to check my mark. My heart was pumping like Bugs Bunny heart in TV. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! I got A! Do you understand it?!! I GOT A!!! The God is GREAT!! He really is! And you know what, it was only A for whole class. Alissa got B and all others got mostly C-s, a bit less D-s and there was also 3 E-s. It is just amazing how God is blessing me at school. Every day I can feel it more and more. When I start study some subject, He just leads me how shold I do that and He keeps me calm and adecvate during examinations and tests. Everyday I do feel how much He loves me and more and more clearer gets me that what He is waiting from me. But I am just human. I would like the things go the way I want because "my eyes are kings"! It doesn't matter at all that what I see is just tiny bit from tiny what God sees up there. But my heart is sore and hurts as hell. And I feel quilty in front of God that because of my heart.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Sixty two . . .
Writting 9 points from 20
Listening 11.875 points from 20
Reading 13 points from 20
Structure of language 9 points from 20
Verbal part 19 points from 20
So . . . What else I can say now . . . Complain? Pftttt! I could complain if i did see lots of trouble with studing. You can't wait for better result if you have opened books just night before exams. Well . . . but I do hope it is enough for me to get into the college as a midwife. So . . . I can say I AM DONE WELL!!! (but I could do better and it is bothering me.)
Listening 11.875 points from 20
Reading 13 points from 20
Structure of language 9 points from 20
Verbal part 19 points from 20
So . . . What else I can say now . . . Complain? Pftttt! I could complain if i did see lots of trouble with studing. You can't wait for better result if you have opened books just night before exams. Well . . . but I do hope it is enough for me to get into the college as a midwife. So . . . I can say I AM DONE WELL!!! (but I could do better and it is bothering me.)
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
I don't want to complain but I am still sick of waiting results of my english exam. How long is possible to check 15 works? Yeah, waiting is not easy thing to do :(
I am so lazy. Althought I didn't study much before exam I still had energy to think on that I have to study. Now I just exist. Just a thought that I have to do something useful is draining me off. And I really do think that computer's games are from satan. They are boring and still take your time (what I could use just for sleep because it is also USEFULL doing) and I really feel mayself bad that I let it go still so. Althought I would like to put down a promise since today I wont do that but it would make me feel more bad because I do know that I wont keep it. :'(
Ah, but I can try!! I will constitute my own little organization for ppl who wants to get rid off their laziness and start doing something useful for theirselves and for others. Good good! I have already idea what to do! Now I just need to think out a name for it and then I can think on. Hmm . . . or I just go to sleep now.
School is far away . . .
I am so lazy. Althought I didn't study much before exam I still had energy to think on that I have to study. Now I just exist. Just a thought that I have to do something useful is draining me off. And I really do think that computer's games are from satan. They are boring and still take your time (what I could use just for sleep because it is also USEFULL doing) and I really feel mayself bad that I let it go still so. Althought I would like to put down a promise since today I wont do that but it would make me feel more bad because I do know that I wont keep it. :'(
Ah, but I can try!! I will constitute my own little organization for ppl who wants to get rid off their laziness and start doing something useful for theirselves and for others. Good good! I have already idea what to do! Now I just need to think out a name for it and then I can think on. Hmm . . . or I just go to sleep now.
School is far away . . .
Thursday, May 31, 2007
NINETEEN!!!!!
Yep!! Nineteen points for verbal part of exam! I am genius!!
Pftt! Ofc it is to early to be happy for it because it was just 1/5 from whole exam and I am sure that they don't let foolish theirselves with written part. There is everything black-and-white on the paper. 5 by 20 points for every part . . .
Pftt! Ofc it is to early to be happy for it because it was just 1/5 from whole exam and I am sure that they don't let foolish theirselves with written part. There is everything black-and-white on the paper. 5 by 20 points for every part . . .
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Every point is better than nothing . . .
I know there have popped up question why am I writting in english now. Well, why not? I can wrote in estonian so it means I need practise language what I don't know so well, right? Just wait when I start write in russian or french! Ha, I can even start to do it in duch!! One day I mean. When I start study them all.
My mother language is estonian. I know it about 95 %. So if I am not perfect in my own mother language then noone can expect I would be perfect in english either, right? I can't have 100 % in english if I do not have it in estonian. Whoohooo! It means that even 90 % would be just perfect for me! And I don't need to be perfect. So lets lower per cents more. 75 Would be great! But even 60 would be good. Well, actually every point over 21 would be great! ;D
My mother language is estonian. I know it about 95 %. So if I am not perfect in my own mother language then noone can expect I would be perfect in english either, right? I can't have 100 % in english if I do not have it in estonian. Whoohooo! It means that even 90 % would be just perfect for me! And I don't need to be perfect. So lets lower per cents more. 75 Would be great! But even 60 would be good. Well, actually every point over 21 would be great! ;D
So I am the special one
Yeah, it's me. The special one for everybody. And especially special for my man. With all my special body shapes (what I want to change of course on my own special way), with my special voice tone, with my special way to look and walk, with my special way to talk in my special moods, and no moods. My special doings on my own special way. Everything in me is so deeply special that we can even say I am the specialest!
Jee. Is it really all waht do I have to say about me being the special one? Well, I really can't argue against fact that I am special. But of course I could argue about why I am special for others. Althought do I have right to say at all about how special I am for others?
So what means that being so special then? It is good question. It is even so good question that I should not even answer on that. You can't be just special. You are special for someone. So when I would start wroting how special I am for someone I should know exactly how special I am for them ;o) Isn't it like that? And how do I know how special I am for someone? RIGHT!! That someone has to tell me that. So I can't say that I am special for Marge or for Bio. I can't even say that I am special for my mom. Or can I? At least I know I am special for my man! Actually I would be really upset if I would not.
Ah, I don't even start convince myself that I am not. I AM! He loves me. With all my special ways I counted up before. I do love him on my special way too. But I am the princess so I can't show it out so clearly! Yep. But I am sure that he will understan my love when I will do once his own special pond behind our house and let him sit in it all day. What is more important then - special words or special acts to show your special love? There is saying that the deeds speak for theirselves. So special deeds will tell how special someone is for me, isn't like that? So no words needed. Let your deeds talk for you!!!!
Jee. Is it really all waht do I have to say about me being the special one? Well, I really can't argue against fact that I am special. But of course I could argue about why I am special for others. Althought do I have right to say at all about how special I am for others?
So what means that being so special then? It is good question. It is even so good question that I should not even answer on that. You can't be just special. You are special for someone. So when I would start wroting how special I am for someone I should know exactly how special I am for them ;o) Isn't it like that? And how do I know how special I am for someone? RIGHT!! That someone has to tell me that. So I can't say that I am special for Marge or for Bio. I can't even say that I am special for my mom. Or can I? At least I know I am special for my man! Actually I would be really upset if I would not.
Ah, I don't even start convince myself that I am not. I AM! He loves me. With all my special ways I counted up before. I do love him on my special way too. But I am the princess so I can't show it out so clearly! Yep. But I am sure that he will understan my love when I will do once his own special pond behind our house and let him sit in it all day. What is more important then - special words or special acts to show your special love? There is saying that the deeds speak for theirselves. So special deeds will tell how special someone is for me, isn't like that? So no words needed. Let your deeds talk for you!!!!
I am the special one
Yesterday when I was waiting for my beloved one to log on MSN I saw an old friend online. Well, I do see him online a lot actually. Probably there is no time he is not online but he just don't answer. I just typed to him "Moo to you too!" because behind his name was "Moo!". Why did I typed it? Good question. And hard one too. "Why"-questions are the hardest ones. You can't just answer "yes" or "no". They mean that you watch back on your deeds and analyze them. You have to find the reason WHY you did it. And I am usually that special one who DON'T like to do that. Of Course in this place we can ask who like it then!! Well, meybe you can but not me. I know the answer - "My beloved man!" Jee, how he does like it!!!! It's why I do know so well too that "why"-question is so hard. I don't remember those discussions years back for now but they could be similars for this one:
"Why did you do that?"
"I don't know."
"How come you don't know! You did it!"
"Yes I know."
"So you had to have some reason for that. Why did you do that?"
"I don't know. I wanted to."
"You wanted to? But why?? What did it give you?"
"I don't know! Nothing I guess."
"Jee. If it didn't give nothing to you then why did you do that!?"
"Probably because he was there."
"Hmm . . . But was only he there?"
"No. Of course not."
"Why then exactly him?"
"Jee! I DON'T KNOW! He was just there!"
"Well, and those others too. So you had to pick him up on some special reason! Why him? What did you feel during that?"
"Jee, I wrote just "Moo to you back too!" That's all! What special I had to feel for that?? I just was sitting there and WAITING FOR YOU! And guess what! YOU WERE NOT THERE!! So I JUST saw his name out from others and that "Moo!" behind of it and I JUST TYPED "Moo to you back too!" So what?! Am I a criminal now?"
"Why are you upset? I just wated to know why you did it."
GRRRRRRR . . .
Yeah. So why did I do that? Who knows. I am sure there was some feelings included in. Like he meant me more than others who was oline. I were met with him twice and both times we spent together a week I guess. And then the thousands hours we have talked online. In everyday.ee server and TDZK.net server and trough the TDZK itself and trough MSN and via phone and face to face - so yeah, it gives me more reason to feel about him than the other who where online and about who I don't even know why they are on my MSN. Probably also from TDZK time - some alliancemates from who-knows-what-alliance-from. Well, and probably played that part in it that we were talking with Marge about him day before. It was about so:
"What Bio is doing?"
"I don't know. He gives never straight answer."
"Yeah, I know. But I even don't worry about him at the moment because I do know he is talking with you often and it means he is alive :)"
Probably that had part also in that i was sitting there and saying "Moo to you too!". Yeah but not about that I wanted to tell to you but about that that he answered to me today! At 10:51:13 by my PC time. Well of course I didn't want to say about that too but that he told me "Hi special one."
So I am the special one. But about that in the next blog ;)
"Why did you do that?"
"I don't know."
"How come you don't know! You did it!"
"Yes I know."
"So you had to have some reason for that. Why did you do that?"
"I don't know. I wanted to."
"You wanted to? But why?? What did it give you?"
"I don't know! Nothing I guess."
"Jee. If it didn't give nothing to you then why did you do that!?"
"Probably because he was there."
"Hmm . . . But was only he there?"
"No. Of course not."
"Why then exactly him?"
"Jee! I DON'T KNOW! He was just there!"
"Well, and those others too. So you had to pick him up on some special reason! Why him? What did you feel during that?"
"Jee, I wrote just "Moo to you back too!" That's all! What special I had to feel for that?? I just was sitting there and WAITING FOR YOU! And guess what! YOU WERE NOT THERE!! So I JUST saw his name out from others and that "Moo!" behind of it and I JUST TYPED "Moo to you back too!" So what?! Am I a criminal now?"
"Why are you upset? I just wated to know why you did it."
GRRRRRRR . . .
Yeah. So why did I do that? Who knows. I am sure there was some feelings included in. Like he meant me more than others who was oline. I were met with him twice and both times we spent together a week I guess. And then the thousands hours we have talked online. In everyday.ee server and TDZK.net server and trough the TDZK itself and trough MSN and via phone and face to face - so yeah, it gives me more reason to feel about him than the other who where online and about who I don't even know why they are on my MSN. Probably also from TDZK time - some alliancemates from who-knows-what-alliance-from. Well, and probably played that part in it that we were talking with Marge about him day before. It was about so:
"What Bio is doing?"
"I don't know. He gives never straight answer."
"Yeah, I know. But I even don't worry about him at the moment because I do know he is talking with you often and it means he is alive :)"
Probably that had part also in that i was sitting there and saying "Moo to you too!". Yeah but not about that I wanted to tell to you but about that that he answered to me today! At 10:51:13 by my PC time. Well of course I didn't want to say about that too but that he told me "Hi special one."
So I am the special one. But about that in the next blog ;)
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