Marriage untill death - pink dream?

Other thing what we were talking with Margo was marriage.

I know that marriage is not holy nowdays anymore. Tendency is to have commitmentfree relationship. I come and go when I wish and I have no duties in front of my livingmate. Trial marriages. We move together to see are we for eachother or not.

I don’t understand it. Is the society causing it? Or are the people so convient that they don’t care abaut building up good and wellgoing marriage. Beside that they are just trying different partners with hope to find someone who fits to them withouth they should change theirselves to fit better into the marriage? It makes me think that I am not so pinkminded at all as they are ;o)

Everything is so wrong nowdays. And yes, it is wrong. Kids should not have sex. Youth should not have sex. Adults should not have sex. Noone should have sex without marriage. I was watching today 7th Heaven - a TV serial. The pastor was saying a young guy Robbie (who had almost to marry with a girl who he didn't love because of she was pregnant from him) that he should not sleep with every girl and that it would keep away the problems like unexpected babies and women with who he doesn't want to marry. And you know, I am 100 per cent agree with that. You have to be ready for sex and for consequenses after sex. If you are not ready for babies and marriage then just don't do that. I can understand that young men like Margo (and often alson not so young men anymore also) are thinking just with their groins. Because it is so good to have only amenities - moeny, power, sex - and that all without any duties or responsibilities.

But let the people live in their pink worlds. I do live in mine. And I have made lots of mistakes there. So I have had time to think on them and learn from them as well. Margo said: "How can you be so sure on the man in your life. They are coming and going. Do not dream." But I do dream. I know one, if I believe in something and if I am moving to my dream it will come true. And also I know that there is needed two person for marriage. Also both of of them have to want the marriage will work out.

Let's see what are saying some marriage vows:

1. I, Romeo, take you Julia, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

2. I, Romeo, take you, Julia, to be my lawfully wedded wife, my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.

3. I Romeo, take you Julia, to be my wife, my partner in life and my one true love. I will cherish our union and love you more each day than I did the day before. I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward for as long as we both shall live.

In the presence of God and these our friends I take thee to be my wife, promising with Divine assistance to be unto thee a loving and faithful husband so long as we both shall live.

4. I, Romeo, take you, Julia, to be my friend, my lover, the mother of my children and my wife. I will be yours in times of plenty and in times of want, in times of sickness and in times of health, in times of joy and in times of sorrow, in times of failure and in times of triumph. I promise to cherish and respect you, to care and protect you, to comfort and encourage you, and stay with you, for all eternity.

5. I, Romeo, choose you Julia to be my wife, to respect you in your successes and in your failures, to care for you in sickness and in health, to nurture you, and to grow with you throughout the seasons of life.


6. I, Romeo, take you, Julia, to be my partner, loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know. I eagerly anticipate the chance to grow together, getting to know the woman you will become, and falling in love a little more every day. I promise to love and cherish you through whatever life may bring us.


WOW! Beautilful! And what most important, all those vows are promises about live together in good and bad times until death separates them. None of them are saying that "I promise to live with you till we see we are not suitable for eachother."

Nowdays people are not thinking about what means living together. They just move in and then will see how it everything works out. Or actually will stay till there is no sexual passion anymore and then moves apart again. Usually are they also complaining how bad person was exlifemate and how many bad habbits he/she had. And they are coplaining that all without thinking that they didn't give theirselves anything that the marriage would work out.

Marriage is partnership. And it means that it needs work. As said our beloved writter Anton Hansen Tammsaare: "Tee tööd, siis tuleb ka armastus." ("Make your work and then will come love also.") Love is not only sexual passion between couples. It is also friendship and partnership. It means that you are able to forgive and you to appologise. It means that you are sharing your happy moments as well as your sorrow. It means that sometimes you are ready to go into a chinema to watch some lovestory what your wife wishes to see and you are going to do that even you think it is wast ot time. Or that wife is ready to go watch football game together his supose althought she actually don't care about it. It means also that husband will take his wife out for dinner sometimes. And sometimes is wife waitig for man at home with candles and different food as usually to make him feel very special. That husbend will understand that sometimes his wife just needs cuddling and no sex. And that wife should understand that sometimes has her husbend also hedache. Also should the couple go on some course together to have a same hobby to tie them. And deffinatelly should a husband try to NOT SELL his old car to her wife!

One very important thing in marriage is also knowing that God will help in any sittuation. Even if you don't see any way out from hard times is God still there and waits for you to ask His help. Marriage between a woman and a man is one thing what makes God happy. And He wants to help that the marriage would succseed. I thank you, God, that you have gave me such a man as it is Derek. I know that with Your help we can have marriage what will make happy you and also both of us. Thank you for being with us. And thank you too, my sweet man that you have stayed with me during those hard and very hard times we have had. I am the most happier woman on this side of earth untill you are with me. And I am sure we have lots of years to go together if God lets us. Love you very much.

What is worth a life?

I am disturbed after talk with Margo. I knew that people can be cynical but I hoped still on my pink way that there are some love in them. I don’t want to generalise. I am sure there are enough people who are not seeing things in so desperate way as he was doing. A view as everything what you are doing has to have monetary value for you. That everything you do has to bring money into your wallet. Or that men are coming and going in your life and you can’t do anything becayse IT IS LIFE! Oh please!

IT IS NOT LIFE. Life is exactly that kind of as you will live it. If you don’t expect anything else from it and are doing everything from yourself that it would bring only money in and that your lifemates are coming and going then yes, it will be like that.


Probably is my view on the world much more pinker than is his. You know, I am even proud of that. I am 30 and I have had lots of dissapointments in my life and lots of mistakes. But all that haven’t changed my pink views. I still believe there is kindness and everlasting love and I still would like to share my money all away between different persons. If I would win with lottery I would give some money for my mom that she could pay back all her debts and could buy a new car for herself, I would help my sister to renovate her house, I would put it in some fund what would help to build and manage a school for our church, etc. Of course I won’t win. Only because I am not playing lottery ;o) But it is not important. Important is that I know I would do that without regreting. I would share even Derek's money away if he would give it to me. Quite probable that he never gives any to me ;p But I do remeber he promised to set in a charity jar where we can gather some money for sharing it later for poor people. It is good idea but it doesnt satisfy me. I want that there would be some way to help people who has no homes or food or some other thing what it is needed for cover the basic needs of lives. And help them so that it will change their lives and they can manage theirselves on human way.

I hate thinkings „Why do you want to take ppl away from the street if they want to be there.“ Oh heaven sake! Who said that they want to be there? Yes, they have lived there some time already. Yes they have used with that because they have had no other way. Yes, they may not want to take help what someone is offering to them (maybe because of proud, maybe because they afraid, maybe because they have lost hope). But I am asking from you, dear – What would you do when life brings you on the street? Would you be happy with that kind of life? Would you want to stay there and never get back a life worthy of human being?


I dont expect that ther would be much ppl who would care about others. But I know there is some of who do. And that little part of humanity is the part I want to belong. God bless those people and God bless those who are not belonging there.

I have a life now

It is the bonus of gameless life. Now it is just needed to decide what to do with the life I have.

P A N I C ! ! !

Gameless

It is my third day without games.

Actually I was one night (I mean yesterday) thinking already to install Civ III again and denay it for Derek. But I felt really bad after the tought. It is so sad how weak I can be. It is so hard to give up with pointless things and start doing something useful. Something what has meaning. I. e. to think out a project for street people to get them back into normal life, or translate biblestudy materjal for children, or excercise or whatever else.

Actually I made exercises! 15 sit-ups on the morning. And then the same for my back and then some lifts for my legs! It was even second time already. First was about 3 days before it. Now I just have to try to keep it every morning ;)

I have to make a list from stuff what are important and with point in my life. What could I do beside playing games and watching TV. How can I change my life more active.

I will do that tomorrow!

Savisaar and Savisaar?

Savisaar ??? My cousin

Lately!

I was washing a hospital room floor today. A patient sat on the edge of her bed and watched at me dragging a wet mopp over the floor.

"Are they good?" asked she.

Hmm, are they? I am effective to wet floor with that yeah. They are also easy to rip off for washing and attach later again. So yeah, they are good for me. But are they good for cleaning the floor? I really doubt in it. You take a rag just and schlep it on the floor outspreading the dirt.

I nodded.

"They came lately. They are advertizing them now everywhere."

That's a mopp. At least it is called so in estonian. I have known this since I had to start wash floors. It means about 15 years already. 15 years! And for her it is lately?!

Finally a good decison in my life

I uninstalled and delited all my games.

Yes, I did it.

I am gameless.

And yes, I am not feeling very good because of that what doesn't mean anything more than just - I am an addict. I am admitting it. And I made firts step to get rid of my addiction - I did deleted all games from my notebook. I cleaned my life from pointless, useless and timewasting things!!

I DO HAVE A LIFE NOW!

That I could fill it with new pointles, useless and timewasting things . . .