Outch!

Today I got 4 sms. When I started reading those my heart jumped because first one what I read was: "I love you dearly. You are my life, my love and my heart blood. I miss you. I need you. Be good and miss me andremember I love you. I am your frog :)" I was shaking. It could not be true! I read other sms-s and... It could not be true... Those were ones I have got already. My phone operator resend all messages I had in my phone. The message was from 1st July 2006. Really bad joke... It just rip open all my fresh wounds again. I want delete everything. I want to die. Just die.. do not excist. There are so many things around me what don't let me forget. Why?

I feel so pathetic :( What should I do? I don't know... Would help me a box where I cather everything what remainds me him? Would it? All my past in a box... Oh dear heaven, let I have diabetes that I could fall in coma and die! There is anyway noone who loves me...