Rembrand's Lost Son

We had a youth evening today. We have it every thuestday actually. The bigwig is Kärt. She is reading (translating and reading!) the book "The Emotionally Healthy Church" for us. Oh and not only that! She is thinking out also activity for us! Last time we had to group feelings. She had lots of feelings on the paper pieces and we had to group them into 2 different groups; negative and positive ones. We got 3 groups. Positeve feelings, negative feelings and the feelings we didn't know where to set. I felt like 7 years old and it was great feeling! <- POSITIVE FEELING! The point of the evening was tha we should break down.

Today we had to watch Rembrand's Lost Son first and then discribe the Father, the Lost Son and his elder brother. And the pont of the evening was that we should identify ourselves with the Lost Son. We should kneel down and put our head into the Father's lap. And the Father here is God. We had to watch into ourselves to see are we elder or younger son and if we found we were elder then what should we do to be younger. Well... who told that life has to be easy and clear...

The other thought what I can remember was that are we able to be as a real family member for our congregation? Are we able to be friendly and opened for others around us? Are we able just to listen others? Are we?

Of course we are!

Till Kärt asked from us that what if our pastor would step into the room now and says he has a problem - it is not going well at work and he has problems with his children and wife, a member of church told to him he is not good in his work, his car just stopped working and he has no transport now and etc., etc. How would we act? Would we feel alright during that? Are we able listen him without big eyes and opened mouth? Ah? Mh?

Just like the ones I used to know

As I told the winter came suddenly. I woke up on a morning and the earth was white. I got my mom's digi cam for use and I have clicked it since then. Of course it is not same what is use a professional camera for pictures but it makes the thing.

Well anyway. The winter came suddendly but it is not leaving so suddenly. It has melted whole day today and my mom knew even that it was raining at 4 AM at night! Jee . . . Why she is not sleeping at this time? Who knows. But it made me sad it was raining again. Winter should be with snow, -5 degrees by Celsius and no wind. -15 is too much and -25 is far more than great winter weather. But I should not complain. We have +0 and it rains. Snow on the streets is black like brownies but won't tast like that. I am sure.

There is one positive thing in all of it. Christmas is comińg and they decorate city with lights. I love blue lights. When it is needed to go to work I have to pass from the park where trees are decorated with 2 diferent blue tones. Jee! I could live there! But yeah, is there snow or not; is there lights like that or not, I can't over from fact I miss summer. The time I don't have to think any study. I can just come home and lie down without feeling guilty that I am not reading or studying anything. Oh SUMMER! I'm longing you!

day for birthday

I danced today. There was coming a prety fascinating song on the radio and I was just wiggling my big bum and shaked my hands. Like Janisk (my lector of psychology) let us to know it was just relaxing from some tension I have. So . . . I just relaxed.

From what? Oh right! It was hard college day again and I am just under big pressure. Am I? Probably I am then. Or the song was just so atractive. The day itself was not so hard actually at all. It was birthday of the college. I sang! I have dreamed about singing for mass of people and it was my big day today! Happily I was not alone and others voices covered my tries but . . . . I SANG! Anyway, there has always been bunnies who want to fly. It was just my flying day and I had luck enough – nobody throw me with tomatoes or eggs. Even no snowballs was flaying on my direction.

Ah, snow! It was really great morning today! It was snowing quietly and there was some minus degrees. There were many candles in front of college building and music was playing. Some students and lectors who were standing there had torch on their hands. It gave really warm feeling inside. For a moment I felt we belong together.

After opening ceremony – some speeches, songs and encomiums we had small party-thing inside in our canteen. On the walls were lots of balloons and big table was full of little salad baskets, meat pies, hot drinks (tea and coffee) and of course really large cake. The birthday cake! They were prepared a quiz for us as well but I would like not talk about it. It means we didn’t win although Mahla and Janisk were giving most answers to us and even Kolga was shaking head when there was a question “There will seep 30 mg urine per hour into bladder. Is it true or false?” Ah, winning is not important, taking part is! (What Janisk was saying about that today??? Ah! That it is one reaction in defence mechanism – rationalization by Anna Freud. That actually we wanted to win but when we did not we say loudly we didn’t.)

Janisk is great. Today we were doing short IQ test and I was not very imbecile. 105. I can just think on my old age and dementedness. My best days are history. There were exercise “Weigh of a bottle with lemonade is 850 g. Half full bottle weighted 600 g. How much weigh just the bottle?” Bah!! I watched it like I saw first time math at all. Then I made a system of equation where bottle weigh was marked as “p” and lemonade “l”. Then I found out what “p” is and replaced it in other equation and finally got a negative answer! Now, when I was sitting here and typing the exercise I saw the beauty of the exercise and the right answer. You had just find out how much was weigh of half lemonade and then take it away from the half bottle of lemonade. 850-600=250 g and 600-250=350 g. Jee! No higher math at all.

Oh! And I am sanguine!

Happiness vol. 2

Seems that everyone knows what means happiness and I know exactly what means to not have it.

My heart is full of angush and longing. I am so damned not happy with it!

Happiness

You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.
Albert Camus

Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.

I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.
Albert Schweitzer

The Grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.
Allan K. Chalmers

For everything there is a season,
And a time for every matter under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate,
A time for war, and a time for peace.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.
George Sand

When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.

True happiness is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.Helen Keller

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet.James Oppenheim

What we call the secret of happiness is no more a secret than our willingness to choose life.
Leo Buscaglia

"Happiness depends upon achievement of personally significant goals and leading a balanced life."
Michael from Worcestershire, England

"Happiness is the ultimate realization that everything was, and is, exactly as it should be."
Paul from The Netherlands

You will never be happier than you expect. To change your happiness, change your expectation.
by Bette Davis

Hope is itself a species of happiness, and, perhaps, the chief happiness which this world affords.
Samuel Johnson

Happiness is man's greatest aim in life. Tranquility and rationality are the cornerstones of happiness.
Epicurus

Excuse for to be happy

I was reading a book yesterday. It was C.S.Lewis' book with name I can't remember just now. Something like "Simple Christianity" or "Just Christianity" . . . Ah! I had to go to check. It was "Mere Christianity" and I found from first couple page already a really deep thought what touched me.

It is true that we do things what are . . . let's say tehy look normal. Little things what are so natural for us but what we are still excusing later. We are angry at our husbands or kids because we had just hard day, we postpone things we had to do long time ago because we had just so busy period lately, our behavior with our sisters and brothers is exactly like it is because you know yourself how irritating they can be!

We have always excuses for justifying our actings. Why do we excuse them if they are so righteous? ;o) Probably because we actually know what we are doing is not right at all. But it was the thing what I wanted to write at all. I just wanted to point out that we are doing excuses only for negative things. We never try excuse things what make us happy. (So to do right we should be happy all the time!) And thats all what I want to say - find the moments in your days what have made you happy and try to keep them in your mind. Hold your mind clear and positive ;o)

I cried today. Loudly. Because Jakob called me and told he lost his keys. I cried loudly and tearsly. I was comfortless. I have to be really unhappy and upseted that I cried like that because of lost keys.